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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| aw.
remember xanga.
those were the days. | | |
| A TYPICAL NIGHT OF TV IGNORANCE WITH MY PARTNER IN CRIME (ALLISON):
1. Upon watching Desperate Housewives, I suddenly realized that maybe there's some truth to the whole "Eva Longoria is hot" thing. I mean...she still looks like a mouse to me...but a very attractive mouse. How come men don't think I'm hot...even though I sometimes look like a lemur when I make my eyes all big? Anyway...I digress. I heard that Tony Parker cheated on her. When I heard this news...I felt much the same as I did when I heard that Halle Berry's husband cheated on her. I felt like throwing my head back and laughing. If EVA LONGORIA and HALLE BERRY can't keep a man....then I might as well pack my bags and call it a night. Cuz if the hottest women in America can't keep a man interested and committed...then who in hell can!?!??!?!? why do i sound like a terry mcmillan novel?
2. can i just take a minute to laugh at mark foley. HAhahHAHAHHAhHAHhahaahahhHA!!!! i thought nothing could get better than the bill o'reilly "falafel" incident. but this foley guy takes the cake. i'm just mad that he didn't end up on the dateline special on online predators. that would have made my year.
3. i'm rooting for New York to win Flavor of Love. i can't tell if it's because i'm jealous of Deelicious's ass, or if i'm just scared of what New York may do if she doesn't win...ahem...FOR THE SECOND SEASON IN A ROW! plus...call me crazy...but i actually think Flavor Flav and New York are a match made in heaven.
4. i'm going to ruin my credibility as a film snob in a second....ready for this?!??!? i actually think mtv's "true life" documentary series is decent. there. i said it. naw but i'm serious. i think it's one of the few things mtv does well. i saw a show today about teens living in poverty and it really did a great job of showing the reality of how many people in america live. it did more for me than any bullshit sociological report by Barbara Ehrenreich.
5. i'm sorry but...i really don't care about anna nicole smith's son. i mean it's sad and all...but i don't know why i have to keep hearing the same old news about how "there still aren't any leads as to the cause of death." fine then...how about you don't report on it until you actually have something to say.
6. i miss john mark karr. he was entertaining. crazy old boo radley.
7. brooke hogan can dance pretty well. doesn't she look like a man to you though? see i really do think everyone looks like a man.
8. i'm excited for the new pedro almodovar movie. mostly because penelope cruz is in it...and penelope cruz is my heterosexual crush. she's GORGEOUS. and anyone who doesn't think so is lying to themselves.
*picture of penelope and pedro almodovar.*
*p.s. that's not at all what i thought pedro almodovar would look like. in fact this picture sorta ruins my image of pedro almodovar. this is almost as sad as the time i flipped "The Giving Tree" over and saw the scary picture of Shel Silverstein on the back cover...looking like the Boogie Man about to eat me.*
* see what i mean...spooky stuff*
not gonna put her face on the back of future books like,
me
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| someone fill me in...
where's the sexual innuendo in "my london bridge is falling down"
????
i can't even tell if that's gross or not.
you know what is gross?
fergie's face.
random fact about me: i can't stand people without necks. like fergie. ya know who else doens't have a neck....
yuck.
***
back to fergie.
doesn't she look like a drag queen to you?
this is a common complaint of mine.
everyone looks like a drag queen to me.
like paris hilton.
she looks like a very attractive male dressing like a female.
***
big sis #1 commented "ya know who i always thought looked manly? eva mendes."
shut up big sis.
i happen to love eva mendes.
shush sis. i win!
***
gotta neck like,
me
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| i just got over my "i-miss-being-a-student" phase!!!!
 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tamika: So I don't know how to start.
Me: Start what?
Tamika: My paper.
Me: The paper on reality tv that you asked me to help you with last week?
Tamika: Yeah.
Me: When's it due.
Tamika: Tomorrow.
Me: Have you started?
Tamika: no.
 sucks to be tamika.
gosh! it just hit me! i never have to do that again! i never have to sit in front of a blank word document...at 1am...and think "how in the hell am i going to write 7 coherent pages by tomorrow?"
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wanna know what i'm doing instead?
reading stuff that i want to read. and writing stuff i want to write. and i never have to use the word "juxtaposition" again!
and believe it or not...foucault is actually fun to read....when you aren't forced to read him.
grown ass woman like,
me
| | |
| (21 things)
1) saw the dalai lama with laura. was very bored. we fell asleep on each other's shoulders. some guy offered to buy me a green crystal. "like your eyes...like your eyes." the dalai lama turned out to be a big snore. he was just very ordinary. just a happy guy. just like my postman.
2) ran a triathlon with alexis. never again.
3) visited nora in new york. her response, "you were very....how do i say this? you were very ordinary." hahahahah.
4) let chastity cut my hair. and i mean...chop it off!!!!
5) thesis. enough said. don't ever ask me about bessie head. or passing narratives. or "creating the self." i'll yelp in agony.
6) went to the afghan restaurant with yuriye (this really was a highlight...the food was memorable...as was yuriye).
7) was a cow for halloween. with udders.
8) made-up with one of my best friends after a year of trying to fool myself into thinking i could live without her. *this may be #1 on my list...i looooooove you mary!!*
9) deleted all my writing. stupid.
10) accidently saw erin topless. *after 4 years as roommates...it's surprising this didn't happen earlier.*
11) dated my co-worker. worst idea in the world.
12) bungee jumped with lauren and rachel. "no seriously guys...i think i just experienced a heart attack. no seriously guys."
13) dropped it like its hot on the boat cruise. dropped it like it don't need to be microwaved.
14) befriended my frog companion in a past life. in this life he's mr.miyagi. i wonder what he'll be in the next life.
15) stopped speaking to henry for reasons that i no longer remember. henry, a sincerely over-due apology letter is coming. as soon as i find your mailing address at school.
16) oh right. i graduated.
17) new orleans. "get get"
18) working 4 jobs is bad for your health.
19) met a particular man-child who made my heart go pitter-patter.
20) cross-roads box.
21) a night with "the monk."
***
and that is all.
that is all.
feeling old and noticing wrinkles like,
me
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